Mirror/Darkly

2011-11-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

from the Voice of the Martyrs cover

Paine for Freedom

2011-10-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

“These are the times that try men’s souls… Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.
What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly --- ‘Tis dearness only that gives everything its value.
Heaven knows how to set a proper price upon its goods, and it would be strange indeed, if so celestial an article as freedom should not be highly rated.”
– Thomas Paine “The American Crises”

This quote struck me because of the imagery and the force of passion behind Paine’s words. It is obvious that he cares deeply for America, and he, like many others, knew that they were witnessing the birth of nation. In the difficult years following 1776, when the nation got into the war for Independence in earnest, they knew that something unique, something their own was being brought forth. But did they still have the resolve to continue to fight and die for it?

Paine wrote these words as a national gut-check after the war had starting going badly - including the capture of New York City. However, I cannot help being reminded through Paine’s imagery of “conquering Hell,” yearning for “Freedom” reminded me of, the Declaration of Independence that Christ made to us through His life, death and resurrection.

Paine was not a Christian, in fact he was closer to being an agnostic. However, he recognized the truth that Freedom is the most valuable thing man can have. Yet while he inspired a nation to fight for its political freedom, Paul reminded us in Romans 8:3 to be thankful because Jesus Christ “has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

Furthermore, to the Galatians Paul writes “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1.

Now , going towards being 250 years removed from that great experiment, I am indeed proud of what our founding fathers accomplished, yet I am not naïve. Persia, Rome, England and Russia all had power, renown and sprawling empires. Yet nations rise and fall, states begin and end. If we are conquered by invaders or dissipate in our own foolishness greed and sloth, I will regret it but I will not be mortally wounded by it. Nations are not immortal, but individual people are.

However, all Thomas Paine had was America , which is why felt he had to write to help inspire the people to go out and win their freedom precisely because it was so valuable. As he said, it was worth the hard work and even death because “what we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly.”

Yet I go back to Paul’s words about obtaining what is truly valuable “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me… I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12,14

Thomas Paine wrote because he saw America in A Crisis, Jesus Christ came to provide the only way out. I'll do well to remember that my sin is the true source of Tyranny.

"il miglior fabbro,"

2011-09-24T20:46:00.001-07:00

As swan or seagull or eagle takes flight
from note dropping nightingale to plummeting kite,

And even sand striding pipers that are sea-and-land-faring

Skip over ostrich heads buried ‘neath the dunes there-in

And from a kiwi’s pear body to its bill where it’s thin

                To the lark going off, the flitting humingbird’s wing
In a branch or a sky, with the wind as a chaser
                Even the flightless birds compose their nests
                                in ode of a better maker

As cries are raised from the mouths of babes

For their parents to swaddle them with care and attention

Adam’s line from dust primeval to flesh post-modern
can still only achieve an honorable mention

Because even as man and woman can join to perpetuate their nature,

The cries of their children sing hail to a better maker

From the riverside of Babylon, where refugees hang their heads, harps and hopes
                and wondered if ever again they’ll see their homelands and coasts.
                                Their children are spoiled, lying prone by the Thames
                gestating their brave new world, with no reference to King James
And further down these banks a huddled mass is stood,
                with no dead waters they beholden to, no native land deemed “good”
They have just the promise said in the silence, after fire, earth and wind
                That there is a city made not by hands, for them to come and dwell within
                And at the source of the waters, there stands the one who is their kin
                                If you were made by a better maker,
                                                then you may enter in.

PoeticLicense:

2011-02-02T18:03:00.000-08:00

#2 - Untitled Under The Sun

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for my labor

The heart asks for pleasure first,
and then, excuse from pain;

and then those little anodynes

That deaden suffering...

....Yet when I surveyed all that my hand had done

and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless,

a chasing after the wind.

What does a man get for all the toil and striving

with which he labors under the sun?

All his days his work is pain and grief;

even at night his mind does not rest.

This too is meaningless...

...And then, to go to sleep;

And then, if it should be

The will of its Inquisitor,

The liberty to die.

A man can do nothing better than

to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work
This too, I see, is from the hand of God,

for without him, who can eat or find any enjoyment?

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin, unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain.

Featured Poets:
Elizabeth Dickinson - Untitled works
King Solomon - Ecclesiastes

PoeticLicense: Remixing the works that have moved me

2011-01-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

Like it states above I'll be posting poems and songs I like with a twist - I'll be combining them with each other. Yeah I sound like an English major with too much time on my hands but regardless I don't know of anyone else that is doing this. No worries friends, the original poets will get their due. First up:

Gerontin, the Star of the Nativity

In the cold season, in a locality accustomed to heat more
than
to cold,
to horizontality more than to a mountain,
a child was born in a cave in order to save the world,

The word within a word, unable to speak a word,
Swaddled with darkness. In the juvescence of the year
Came Christ the Tiger. To be broken, divided, and drunk
in order to save the world…

To Him, all thinks seamed enormous: His mother’s breast
the steam
out of the ox’s nostrils, Caspar, Balthazar, Mechior – the team
of Magi, their presents heaped by the door, ajar.
He was but a dot, and a dot was the star …unable to speak a word

Keeping, without blinking, through pallid stray
clouds, upon the child in the manger, from far Away –
from the depth of the universe, from its opposite end – the star
was looking into the cave. And that was the Father’s stare.

T.S. Elliot – “Gerontin” + Joseph Brodsky “Star of the Nativity” – Dec. 24^th 1987

Do good to your servant

2009-12-16T11:03:00.000-08:00

December 16^th 2009
Week of the 3^rd Sunday of Advent

Advent officially ends this Sunday and then we shall be into Christmas liturgically speaking. I know the Christmas music started up the day after Thanksgiving for some of you and I think people are pretty much saturated into the Holiday Spirit as it were.

Do good to your servant
according to your word, O LORD.

Teach me knowledge and good judgment,
for I believe in your commands.

Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I obey your word.

You are good, and what you do is good;
teach me your decrees. - Psalm 119:65-68

I think the above can be the hardest prayer to pray for us. It is interesting, yesterday’s New Testament reading came from the book of Revelation and it began

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation.”
- Revelation 3:14

These words infer that Christ is speaking directly to this church. Jesus Christ has a lot of names throughout the bible – but the name here “the Amen” roughly translated into English is “the so let it be” as in “Let it be done” in terms of God’s will. Looking back at David’s word and seeing “teach me your decrees” I think it reminds us that we have to willingly subjugate our will to God’s to really reap the benefits of a relationship with him.

How firm an example of complete subjugation to God’s will than Christ? His coming to us in the first place, which is celebrated by Christmas is the beginning of a testimony of faith and resolve to follow God. Is this supposed to make us feel bad because we often fall and fail? No a thousand times. We see in Christ the example of what David leaned – God loves us, wants to bless us, is full of wisdom and good judgment, is good in His actions – whether blessing or rebuking us, and will give us life!

Coming upon the end of the year I’ve seen ways in which I’ve been afflicted, paths that I have gone astray and wills that rose up in opposition to God. But like David I can look back upon them and see that I have some learning to do in humility and obedience yet that God is indeed God and so are His ways and blessings, from everlasting to everlasting. God can do the most good to His servants when we are reminded of, and act in obedience, to His good and perfect will for us.

Today's Readings

Collect for the Day

Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us; and, because we are sorely hindered by our sins, let your bountiful grace and mercy speedily help and deliver us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory, now and for ever. Amen.

2009-12-13T13:32:00.000-08:00

December 13, 2009
3rd Sunday of Advent

Rejoice in the Lord Always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Let your gentleness be known to everyone.
The Lord is near.
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understating, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:4-7

Next Sunday is the last Sunday before Christmas. As such it’s a great time of anticipation. Today is especially joyful as it is Rose Sunday – when we light the light pinkish (rose colored) candle at church. Its significance is the joyful and exultant part of the acclimation of Christ. Now, we might’ve thought that the entire season of advent would be joyful and exultant, and in a way it is, but we’ve seen a lot of readings that point towards God’s anger and impending judgment of the world when Christ comes again.

It goes to reinforce the fact that we do not worship a God whose love is separate from His justice, and that is great for us. It gives us all the more reason to be joyful really. My father touched on that today in his sermon – that we as Christians are the joyful inheritors of peace. This means that we should not worry (we should still be prudent and plan); ultimately we do what we can and things are out of our hands for God to do the rest. Speaking of worrying, I heard a great quote “Worrying is not thinking, and complaining is not action.” - Wow, how much of my life has been defined by those fruitless activities. Jesus said ever so wisely, “Who of you by worrying can add a cubit to his height or a day to his life, therefore do not worry” and advised we let God take care of this.

What does this Sunday of rejoicing then have to do with worrying? Looking at the reading above, it reinforces the fact that a joyful life is not one that is free from pain, trial and suffering, but rather free from a lack a peace. God’s peace is what brings us joy and allows us not to worry. As Paul sagely wrote, “the peace of God” is that “which surpasses all understanding” and is able to “guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Over the last few days and even few hours I’ve been up and down an emotional rollercoaster in which I did not remember God’s peace. My plans, my striving, my fears – real or contrived deprived me of joy and helped me forget the God I claim to serve. What kind of life is that? Nothing God wants or desires for us to be sure. God never said life would be easy, He promised instead that He would be with us.

Let God’s peace give you the proper joy for today and every other day. God bless!

Readings
Psalm: Psalm 85
Old Testament: Zephaniah 3:14-20
Epistle: Philippians 4:4-9
Gospel: Luke 3:7-18

Missing Words

2009-12-10T16:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the below, it was meant to be posted yesterday and not when I am in a funk. So... forgive the unfinished trains of thought and sentences...
--------------------
Advent 9 -
Wednesday 09 2009

Listening to Nickel Creek tonight and I’m about to take some of their words completely out of context to illustrate a point. In the song “Beauty and the Mess” in which they talk about how they remain private people as songwriters but when they perform they hold back some of who they really are (in a literal sense) and let the rest be expressed by the music.

11 "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD,
"when I will send a famine through the land—
not a famine of food or a thirst for water,
but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 Men will stagger from sea to sea
and wander from north to east,
searching for the word of the LORD,
but they will not find it.
13 "In that day
"the lovely young women and strong young men
will faint because of thirst.
Amos 8:11-13

Like everyone, I realize that there are a few people I really miss hearing from. People move, go to different schools, states and grow in life with other people and make new friends and connections. Its funny how changes in the relationships I had grown so accustomed to reveal the details that I didn’t know I treasured. Even the things that used to annoy me are now treasured nostalgia. It’s the old adage; “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone” and that rings especially true in relationships and that is how I see the verse above.

But the above verse is not about nostalgia, its about the reality of our relationship with God and the fact that sooner or later, we miss Him when He is gone.
Advent is a time in which we expect to be learning (and reading) about how people grow closer to God – not necessarily passages like these in which God threatens to go away from people. The season of expectation and celebration is about drawing together, not drawing apart. The bible famously quotes “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”

At times it seems like God is distant but it’s hard to imagine Him purposefully withdrawing. He is infinite and everywhere – He cannot truly retreat in my mind, does He give up? Maybe even God has his limits with our foolishness and disobedience In that case it’s the last verse that catches me, “In that day “the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst.”
God shaped hole

God said he would bring a famine, not of food or water, but of hearing the word of the Lord. And then the “lovely young women” and “strong young men” will faint because of their thirst. That amazes me because its so true. These people in their prime, in the distinction and glory of perfect humanism with seemingly no concern for anything aside from themselves – reminds me of college. But as there is a God-shaped hole in their heart they thirst, though they lacked no bread and no water.

The material world, the heart of man, and the desires of the flesh are deceitful above all else. Though we can indulge ourselves on the aforementioned, we will thirst for the living water. In recent days I’ve been coming to that new perspective, that advent is about putting aside the material and fleshly lusts and realizing our thirst is for living water. From there we could discover what it really means to draw near to God.

What does that mean for a people that already knows Him?

Mountains, Valleys, and the Road of the Lord

2009-12-06T15:57:00.000-08:00

2^nd Sunday in Advent
Lessons from the Lectionary

“For God has ordered that every high mountain and the everlasting hills be made low
and the valleys filled up, to make level ground,
so that Israel may walk safely in the glory of God.” – Baruch 5:7

As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet:
"A voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.

Every valley shall be filled in,
every mountain and hill made low.
The crooked roads shall become straight,
the rough ways smooth.
And all mankind will see God's salvation.' " - Luke 3:6 [Isaiah 40:3-5]

Baruch, secretary to the prophet Jeremiah, writes about the restoration of Israel after the exile. It was he physically wrote down the prophesies that Jeremiah received in what is known as the book of Jeremiah, and he has his own book (Baruch) which is not considered deuterocanonical but still valid.

What is written in Jeremiah is before the exile, what is written in Baruch is what he proclaimed after, when the impossible indeed happened and the Jews found themselves defeated, humiliated and living in Babylon. God’s words of wrath and judgment came to pass, and they were delivered through Jeremiah whom no one wanted to believe.

The above are words of comfort – they speak of the restoration of Israel, the glory of Jerusalem’s children returning to her, and the fact that even though they are in a strange land and among a strange people, God has not abandoned them.

I think that part of the waiting for advent is the realization that even though we suffer and are separated from what we desire, He is still with us and will restore us. Ultimately that means to be with Him – with no barriers – no mountain or valleys as it were. The imagery of Mountains being made low and valleys filled up should be familiar to us because it is utilized throughout the bible – Especially in Luke 3;1-6 which quotes Isaiah 40:3-5.

However – there is a difference between these two prophecies/declarations. Isaiah calls for the way of the Lord to be made smooth as if God was walking upon it – “make straight paths for him.” Baruch calls for the lowering of mountains and the raising of valleys so that the people of Israel “may walk safely in the glory of God.”

One prophet says that God will move mountains for us to walk with him, another asks for mountains to be moved for him to walk with us – are these opposed? I don’t think so. The fact of the matter is that the fulfillment of the presence of God requires us drawing near to Him, and He to us. God is much better at coming to us, than we are to him. But we see again and again God getting fed up with his people’s rebellion, the mountains of idols they put up that obscure him, the valleys of self- reliance and absorptions that they slide down and miss him.

I am thankful for this reminder that in a season that we await the coming of Christ in tradition but also future fulfillment, we should draw near to him as well. And all the mountains and valleys are changed by the power of God and the agreement of our wills. To this effect today’s reading from the epistles is very apt - “^“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.“ Philippians 1:6

Come thou long expected Jesus, and help us remove the barriers, lower the mountains and fill the valleys by the power of your Holy Spirit!

Confessing a Blessing

2009-12-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

Advent Friday
December 5, 2009

Verse:

But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.
Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to
others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted
flesh.
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.
– Jude 20-25

I think that the thing I love about reading the bible as I get older is that the people therein become realer to me each time I read it. The reason I feel this way is that I can relate to them more and more because I end up repeating their mistakes.

Today was especially the case and I felt like Jonah.This morning I fainted after getting up too quickly and woke up with a throbbing pain in my head and jaw – which still has yet to fully subside. Thankfully my brothers heard me fall and were able to get me back to consciousness and called 911 and my parents. I was basically fine, just a little shaken up and speaking and eating is not as easy as it once was. But I didn’t go to work and I’ll eventually find my way to a doctor to get this jaw looked at if it doesn’t feel better over the weekend.

That aside – the reason I felt like Jonah was because of my stubborn helplessness. Like Jonah, I sat in my misery refusing to be consoled, feeling weak, embarrassed and thoroughly put out. Like Jonah, I ignored the grace of God for the time being. I was embarrassed that this had happened again and I felt attended to like I was a 5 year old who doesn’t know any better. This was stupid of course, as if I had some control over what happened to me.

I know Jonah’s dejectedness was more spiritual in origin, however, doesn’t our refusal to acknowledge what God is doing or saying come from not being able to let go of the lesser things that preoccupy us? Instead of marveling at God’s grace, Jonah pretty much whines his way through the last chapter of the book - acknowledging the fact that God Almighty is speaking to him, doing miracles, and has enjoyed the salvation of a people that formerlly did not acknowledge him. Likewise, I didn’t fully appreciate God’s grace at the time, that I could have fallen and gotten a concussion, or landed on a sharp object, or and seriously injured myself, or fainted going down the stairs. A multiplicity of scenarios could have happened that would have landed me in the emergency room or on an operating table or even in the morgue – and for those tortured five minutes while the Fireman shined a flashlight into my eyes and took my vitals “all I can think of was my wounded pride “how embarrassing.”

The reason I recount this story to say that I’m glad the Holy Spirit told me “you’re being like Job.” It reminded me of my narrow focus and and the silly idols I was putting my trust in instead of realizing the fullness of the grace of God. Like the psalmist points out in Psalm 106 "At Horeb they made a calf and worshiped an idol cast from metal.
They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass.
They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt" (19-21)

"They exchanged their Glory...for an image of a bull, which eats grass." If you have witnessed anything more mundane and uninsipiring than watching a cow eat grass, please let me know.

Ultimately this epsiode speaks to me about the ever present relevance of the bible because it revealed to me my human nature and God's corresponding grace. I believe that relevance important is because it adds even more urgency and weight to the scriptures selected for this season. Yeah, they’re not solemn prophecy or nice pastoral stories about Jesus healing the sick or casting out demons. They are exhortations from Him and the apostles reminding us to live in the faith He laid down for us and to beware those who seek to subvert. What a needed word for out time, responsibility for our faith!

Remember:

“But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in
the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the
mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.”

Jude reminds us above to take responsibility for our faith because it is intimately and urgantly relevant, real and valuable above all things. Jude of all people should know the feeling! Imagine a lifetime of being Christ's brother and not believing in him (totally at least) and then following his death and resurrection, coming to the same faith as His apostles! I think the example of Jude shows us that while we live with the urgency of the word, when we acknowledge and live by God’s truth, there is no such thing as wasted time because God is doing work in us.

Praise God and Wait for his coming in the way that builds you and others up!

Come thou long expected...

2009-12-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

Advent Wednesday
December 2, 2009
To the tune of: “Cleansing Fire”

Readings:

Psalm 119:1-24

Amos 3:12-4:5

2 Peter 3:1-10

Matthew 21:23-32

Verse: 2 Peter 3:3-10

"First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, "Where is this 'coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation." But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men.
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare."

Pondering: Do the things of this World keep Me from waiting for Christ’s return?

These men, these scoffers, started asking when Christ would return decades after he died. Fast forward two-thousand years, scoffers are still among us, and they feel that their case is strengthened. These are not skeptics, these are not doubting seekers, these are scoffers, there mind is made up not on account of compelling evidence that God does not exist and his son is not the Christ, but because first and foremost they are “following their own evil desires"

It is reassuring to remember St. Peter's words about how God views time, He may indeed just view our present as the second day after Christ's ascension. And while his world is still preached, he still desires no one to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

What does this mean for me and you today? At the very least a clear warning that it is these same desires which lead us from truth and into the bondage of a very material and transitory lie. Peter writes that the earth will be destroyed and reborn through fire – as Pastor Chuck Swindoll reminded us that desires aren’t permanent d on the radio today – none of the houses, the digress, the titles, the fantasies the indulgencies will last from this world to the next. Pastor Swindoll was preaching on the word “lust” and had a very specific point – our state of depravity and susceptibility to sin is not erased by merely being a Christian, we are humbled and consistent by relying on God’s grace. So we as Christians should not let the things of this world, that are finite, keep us from enjoying and being transformed into the image of God, which is infinite.

I am praying on how the things that I desire and lust after are taking me further from God. Wow, well there’s a lot there to pray about. I would like to know your thoughts on the passage(s) above and how you are called to wait.

2009-11-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

John 1:35-38
The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!" When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?" They said, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?"

It’s kind of interesting; the readings that begin the advent season are not of ancient prophecy yet to be fulfilled or of yearning voices waiting for the messiah. They are the words of God declaring that He is already here. These readings also ask what we are going to do about it.

From the Gospel reading there is the example of St. Andrew – who was formerly a follower of John the Baptist. When John the Baptist declared “Look, the Lamb of God!” Andrew and his companion promptly left John and started to follow Christ. It is so interesting that their first words to Jesus – when he sees them following him is not “Are you actually the Messiah?” No, they are words of dedication not doubt – “Rabbi, where are you staying?”

While Christians today await Christ’s second coming, there are many important lessons we should take from this gospel.
1) God is already here
2) He wants us to point others to Him and follow him faithfully
3) Where He intends on staying is in our hearts.

During this season the biggest challenges I face are remembering that God is here with me and my loved ones in all the trials and tribulations we face. The fact that a messiah is coming does not mean God’s presence was absent.

Furthermore, knowing this I want to more intentionally, lovingly and practically follow Him and be able to point others to him. Whether speaking out boldly as John the Baptist, or proclaiming excitedly as St. Andrew “We have found the Messiah!” The fact the remains, other people need to know. St. Paul states from the epistle reading today “So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful” (1st Corinthians 4:1-2). If that is indeed the case with us, recognized as Christians and given that trust – we must prove faithful to our calling and calling others.

Lastly, and this may be a repeat of the first, God intends on staying in our hearts. I know it’s a leap from a practical question the disciples ask, but I wonder if this was another “If you only knew” moment with Christ. Three years later, He promised these same disciples that He would always be with them before He ascended into heaven. We need to be able to live in the expectation of him, but also in the satisfaction of the fact he is already here. If we stop and think about it, there are many things that God-with-us (Emmanuel) has done in our lives and borne us through.
Sometimes its just a matter of changing our perspective to realize this. I have come to terms with the fact that I don’t wake up each day as if it were Christmas morning and I am a little kid – filled with the same expectation for Christ that I would a nicely wrapped toy. Our joy, hope and desire changes as we age - however, maybe that is why Christ wants to dwell in our hearts first and foremost. I want Him to become my chief desire above all else so that I may also say, like the Apostle Paul – “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) It’s hard for me to utterly fathom that mentality, but God’s grace and peace have brought me to realizations and conclusions that continue to divorce me from my doubts, fears and materialism, as stubbornly ingrained as they are - and to focus on him.

When Christ comes again, we wont present him with a lists of things we would like Him to do for us on earth. We won't do a lot of the things that are dependent upon our earthly desires and existence. We will worship and glorify him for who He is. And now would be a great time to start.

God bless!

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Collect for the Week

Almighty God, who gave such grace to your apostle, Andrew that he readily obeyed the call of your Son Jesus Christ, and brought his brother with him: Give us, who are called by your Holy Word, grace to follow him without delay, and to bring those near to us into his gracious presence; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. AMEN.

Happy New Year

2009-11-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

Today marks the beginning of the Church New Year (according to the Western Calendar). It is the end of Pentecost and the start of Advent. Advent is the season in the church in which Christians remember the coming of the Messiah the first time and anticipate His coming again. In fact Advent stems from the Latin word adventus – meaning “coming.”

You may be more familiar with his having heard of the “Advent Calendar” - an often times wonderfully colored cardboard concoction filled with chocolates that helps one really “enjoy” the count-down to Christmas.

That said, Advent is more than an excuse to eat candy (likewise Easter and Halloween). Traditionally during this time Christians engaged in either fasting or feasting all forty days leading to Christmas. While not as severe or somber as the Lenten fasts, people fasted during this time to reflect in their hearts about the coming of Christ and remember why we wait in joyful expectation not only of Christmas, but the establishment of Christ’s Kingdom when He comes again.

In light of that I’ve decided to resume writing devotionals along these lines, especially focusing on the daily readings and Sunday lectionaries. The idea is to combine scripture with the theme of this season – which is waiting and anticipation – and there are a lot of emotions, prayers and desires that dwell within this. This is essentially a way for me personally to make the season more meaningful to me and begin the conversation of God’s word. Here is a great link to site with more information about Advent itself.

God bless and keep thee and I look forward to sharing your thoughts!

To the Tune of "Do Not Destroy"

2009-09-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

Psalm 58

For the director of music. [To the tune of] “Do Not Destroy.” Of David. A miktam

Do you rulers indeed speak justly?
Do you judge uprightly among men?

No, in your heart you devise injustice,
and your hands mete out violence on the earth.

Even from birth the wicked go astray;
from the womb they are wayward and speak lies.

Their venom is like the venom of a snake,
like that of a cobra that has stopped its ears,

that will not heed the tune of the charmer,
however skillful the enchanter may be.

Break the teeth in their mouths, O God;
tear out, O Lord, the fangs of the lions!

Let them vanish like water that flows away;
when they draw the bow, let their arrows be blunted.

Like a slug melting away as it moves along,
like a stillborn child, may they not see the sun.

Before your pots can feel [the heat of] the thorns—
whether they be green or dry—the wicked will be swept away.b

The righteous will be glad when they are avenged,
when they bathe their feet in the blood of the wicked.

Then men will say, “Surely the righteous still are rewarded;
surely there is a God who judges the earth.”

Is the previous Psalm a fitting tribute for those who died on 9-11? Probably not. But what's worse is the fact that I nearly forgot about it. When I came home from work today, my younger brother shared with me that he and my father had that same experience. No one at work or school talked with them about it. I felt with a certain kind of dread that the nation was slowly but surely forgetting about it. Amid the current debate about health care and other policies (don't even know if Obama visited Ground Zero today).

I feel like we (America( are really about to stop caring. No good news from Afghanistan and not good enough news from Iraq. Its almost as if we (and I'm guilty of this) want to lump the attacks on our country with everything that followed it and shove it into some corner till it becomes attractive and worth commemorating.

I feel we commemorate Pearl Harbor because after that event, we got out there and kicked ass and then went home. Germany and Japan defeated due to our efforts - we save the day and all is right with the world. With Iraq and Afghanistan, I feel we are still waiting for closure and "victory" - however we can all agree to define it.

So geopolitical concerns aside, what does the psalm have to do with anything. I feel that it applies to us after the attack, as we learned more and were outraged and angry. I know this is psalm expressing a personal time in King David's life when his enemies really affected the core of his being - his sense of justice, fairness, righteousness and even security. There was an outrage on his chest that he could only fully express and comprehend in a plea to God and a re-declaration of what he believed:

" Break the teeth in their mouths, O God;
tear out, O Lord, the fangs of the lions!

Let them vanish like water that flows away;
when they draw the bow, let their arrows be blunted.

Like a slug melting away as it moves along,
like a stillborn child, may they not see the sun."

I feel like he was talking about Saul and the many intrigues he plotted against him. Things may hurt more when you know your enemy intimately. But I am no biblical scholar and this may be in reference instead to the many enemey kings that surrounded Isreal at the time - either way, desipicable acts are dispicable acts. I feel this psalm can be summed up as such - "What you did was atrocious, may God pay you back"

In light of that, I hope we never lose our sense of outrage. Yeah, I know, easier to have on behalf of our own people. But in our moral outrage let us rmember that David gave it to God to meet our justice. I hope I remember my creator in the the day of disaster because it is He who restores wall, heals the blind and sets captives free. Praise God!

9-11 on a good note:

So I mentioned above that I felt I was in danger of forgetting (and made myself feel better by foisting that sentiment on the rest of the nation - cheap trick I know). I reckon to state it better - 9-11 felt less urgent, and what is not urgent slips out of my sieve-like mind.

However, God is merciful and he did not let me forget. Rather, he blessed me with a great story. From time to time I occasion to go to a noonday mass instead of lunch when I am at work. The nearby Roman Catholic church I go to is blessed with wonderful members and a very humble and wise deacon who leads this service. Usually after reading the lessons and the gospels, he sits down and has what he calls an "interactive homily" in which he basically gives his interpretation and guides a conversation on what we all just heard.

Today's gospel reading began with Jesus saying "How can the blind lead the blind" and goes into the saying many are familiar with about removing the beam from your eye before you take splinter out of someone else's - something I am sure Jesus had a lot of experience doing with with his little brothers since he was a carpetner and they learned the trade behind him as he learned it form Joseph.

That reading lead the conversation to the group talking about how we experience God's grace in being actually equipped to help others. That we can put aside vain striving, pride and pompousness, and the hypocrisy and sins that make the beams in our eyes - and in love and humility - extend our hands to help each other. One lady shared how at a wake she attended the previous night, she felt as if she was unworthy to support the mother who had lost her son. She was still thinking how she would have acted or prevented the tragic situation in which the son was taken from the mother - really terrible inicident that happened that I wont go into. Yet she had to humble herself and remind herself that she was here by the will of God to help this lady grieve and live.

Going back to the gospel, Jesus wanted us to be in community with each other helping each other - as Paul writes to "share one another's burdens." This applies to the blind leading the blind. The discussion made me think about this phrase in a new way. Jesus provides us the sight to actually make a difference in another person's life. He called us "the light of the world" and John called him "the light that gives life to all men." Christians are not only supposed to do good so to speak, but to lead others to life.

So what does this have to do with 9-11? The deacon shared a story about God's mercy in the midst of a tragedy. As a banker he had formally worked closely with other bankers and lawyers in that world, and had been to New York multiple times. The mornign of 9-11 he got off the phone with banker whose lawyer friend believed he had lost his wife in the world trade center.

He was convinced that she had died when the plane hit - she was supposed to work on the floor right above where it made impact. He had tried to contact her but could not all morning - he was a wreck. To add more to the drama, September 11th was her first day back on the job from maternity leave - her husband had thought he lost the mother of his new child.

It turns out that that morning she was late to work. She had gotten on the subway to go downtown and to her workplace but by the time she got in the subway the first plane already hit and so there was an emergency evacuation of the tunnels. When she got out of the subway and above ground, she was covered in ash, just like everyone else on Ground Zero when the towers collapsed. Unable to get access to her phone to call her husband, she walked forty blocks away from Ground Zero and into her husband's law firm. The recpetionist wouldn't let her up immediately to go see him because she was covered in soot and looked like a homeless person (and the lady had not taken her husband's las name when they married). Long story short, they were finally reunited four hours after the worst had happened.

I know that a lot of people lost friends , family and other loved ones in that attack - but I am so glad for the mercy of God in stories like this. I feel it relates to everything said above because it shows that much in the same way we can only give our enemies up to God, likewise we have to for our loved ones. That humbles us, the inabliity to take satisfiying justice or selfless charity without God. Two opposities bound together on that fateful day when we saw the best and worst of humanity.

I hope I will not forget the evil mandkind is capable of, the good God has created us to do, and the mercy and deliverance he shows. Outside of it I feel we truly are just "the blind leading the blind." Praise God for his works are marvelous and His mercy is from everlasting to everlasting.

Past the Wishing

2009-05-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

I recently listening to a song that truly ministered to me, it was "Past the Wishing" on the album of the same title by Sarah Groves. Groves is an accomplished singer songwriter on the pop/adult contemporary side of contemporary Christian music. Think Jennifer Knapp with a less deep voice and more piano thrown in. She reminds me of Sarah McLaughlin and Natalie Merchant in her lyrical depth and composition but still a stone's throw from Ginny Owens. Alright enough description that you may or may not latch onto - here is the song:

I’m standing at the foot of this mountain
Wishing so bad that I could touch that sky
But in the time it takes to make my wish
I never take a step and I never try

I wish that I were closer to Jesus
But not enough to get me out of bed
For an early morning prayer before the
Rushes of my life take me instead

I'm past the wishing
Past the wishing
Past the wishing

I'm gazing in these deep well waters
Where the pennies of my life have all been cast
I’ve decided I am going to save my money
To do something that lasts

You've shown me my man of Macedonia
You're calling me further on
And I'm tired of saying it's a nice idea
I wish it could be done

I don't wish that I could go - I am going
I don't wish that I could be - I am being
I don't wish that I could do it - I am doing
By the grace of God I am doing

The things I love about this song is that it recognizes inertia and that it can be overcome, especially in the creative context. According to All Music Guide, Sarah Groves was a former high school teacher who pursued her passion for music and thus, her current career. I cant help but think about that as I ponder this song; that aspect of investing in talents that are God given as well as facing the God-given dreams that I personally am too lazy and fearful at times to endeavor on. It also has to do with my spiritual life, discipline there and knowing that there is fufillment in pursuing God. Heh, this is a lesson that been repeated to me so many times this week and part of the reason this blog was started - and kinda abandoned till now.

But as you can see, I am starting back now. No worries, when this bears fruit I will praise the Lord, and of course write Mrs. Groves a nice note.

In

DARTing prose

2009-02-17T17:43:00.000-08:00

So this is my second post inspired by public transportation. Is this because DART (Dallas Area Rapid Transit) is my new muse, or is it because I haven't really been drawing all that recently? The answer is yes.

I like this campaign that they are doing called "Poetry in Motion". Basically they put posters both on the walls of the plexiglass advertising spaces at each train station containing poetry selected by a committee from Richland Community college.

There are also smaller ones that go inside the rail cars themselves. If you have ever been aboard a train or subway, you realize that the entire situation is an exercise in not being as awkward as possible. You stare out the window, at the floor, at someone else' shoes in utter silence in an attempt to avoid, *gasp* direct eye contact with another human being! However, you still want to check out everyone in the car without them realizing that you are evaluating, assessing, and even judging them based solely on their appearance and mannerisms. Its interesting how many people you can think are sketchy because they are sketched out by everyone else and thinking other people are sketchy.

I'm getting away from my point. I say all that because I love good poetry, I like Poetry in Motion, and it gives you something to stare at asides from urban sprawl at 60 miles per hour. Below is example:

Don't be a Jackass

2009-02-13T20:39:00.000-08:00

The great thing about taking public transportation frequently is that it allows you to meet new people. The horrible thing about taking public transportation frequently is that it allows you to meet people that you would never want to encounter in your life ever again.

So today as I am waiting for the bus to come while at the train station, a young man asks me if he could use my cell phone to make an important call. While skeptical, I pretty much let anyone do this because the thought is in my mind "they may actually really need it and not be up to mischief."

The young man had tattoos, a hoodie, mohawk, and pretty much looked like every Texas youth who seems aspiring to be a delinquent. Lo & Behold, he had to call his parole officer in Dallas to check in with him by 5 pm otherwise he would be arrested again for violating his parole.

The time on my cellphone was 4:55, needless to say, with some reservation I asked him for the number and dialed it for him. He told me that this was his girlfriend's number; she had bailed him out of jail previously and was supposed to get the number of his parole officer for him so that he could call in.

I was a little irritated and shocked at his irresponsibility. But I've been in similar situations (not being arrested but being irresponsible) so I "whatever'd" it in my mind and moved on.

Girlfriend picks up, I give the phone to young man, and he quickly finds out that she didn't have the number of his parole officer. He starts to cuss her out over my phone and tell's her that its her fault that he's going to have to go to jail again and calls her a few choice things.

At this point I'm pissed. I tell him not to talk to her like that, and advice him to turn himself in if he's so worried about the warrant for his arrest. However, young man had already given his phone back to me and stalked off in anger, not interested in hearing a lecture from me.

So I am left there irritated. If he had more sense, he could probably find out the number of his parole officer from either calling the police or a local information number. There is no need to lash out at someone for failing to do what was your own sole responsibility. Especially if that someone is your girlfriend who "bailed you out".

This sent off a flood of thoughts in my mind "What jackasss, she better break up with him but she's probably not going to because that's how women are especially if this guy is a criminal, I can't believe he would do that, I better be more careful about who I give my phone to...etc."

What rubs me raw is when people are so selfish that they cannot...........act with any tact, reason, or consideration. That just burns me up.

However, what a perfect reminder of the grace that I am daily afforded. I do, and have done, things that have pissed of my family, friends and my Lord, and as much as I am tempted to say "but not like this guy," I have been, and might could be, exactly like him if not worse.

I don't say this to let the young man off the hook, maybe even to temper my words and focus my response the next time I am in a situation like that. If I get angry, I want it to be a righteous, not presumptious anger that leads to stern words of wisdom and ultimately life. Tis all.

Freedom isn't free

2009-02-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

So I received this video via and email and I watched it, found it interesting and subsequently linked it in my gmail profile. You can watch it here.

The video was sent to be because it was an ad rejected by NBC to air on the Superbowl. Quite frankly, I much would have preferred it to the GoDaddy commercials, but that's a pick-your-poison debate. Some would say, show me the football, hold the politics. I would say, show me something that's not idiotic (sic, viagra, godaddy, fast and the furious) .

In any case, me sharing the link prompted a conversation with one of my friends about the issue of abortion and how its portrayed. I'd like to post that conversation but I don't have that person's permission. While this person and I differed on our perspective, we were at the very least able to see that each other's thinking was informed at the very least by concern. Wow that sounds broad and vague but I really don't know how to better convey it. The person's perspective was summarized in the view that the decision to expend the time, energy and resources to raise a child is honored and valited in the fact that that choice could be made willingly, and was not an obligation foisted on everyone who wanted their child or not.

This perspective kind of stuck with me because it in my mind it echoed the argument used by C.S. Lewis (and in Christianity in general) as to why human beings have free will. In large, if I recall the argument correctly, we have free will because it gives validity to our act of choosing to love, and thus obey God, instead of that being just automatic for us. It “makes” our love genuine, in a sense.

However, in choosing whether or not to have an abortion, and thus choosing whether or not to raise a child, does this same measuring stick apply? Does that choice, and the outcome of a child or not, have weight merely because we could choose the opposite? Do those who are pro-life praise the single mother who was either raped or abandoned by her beau who decided not to have an abortion and raise her child because of the fact that she did not have an abortion? Or because of the fact that she is willing to gut it out and do whatever it takes to raise her child the best that she can? Or can it be both?

Those are a lot of questions to sort through, but at the very least in my mind it added a new, or different dimension to the pro-choice perspective in my mind. I've at least begun to distinguish in my ideological categories the difference (if any) between those who are pro-choice and those who are pro-abortion.

While I've been thinking a lot about this issue today, it made me realize something very important in terms of Christians my age. Now, more than ever, Christians of my generation have to be able to clearly articulate what they believe and why. Call it being in the "Era of Obama," but seriously, someone who represents such a diversity of ideology and in many instances is a walking contradiction or consummation of America highlights a need for a sorting out.

Obama draws from biblical allusions, black civil rights imagery, eastern thought, French and German history and philosophy, and the old testament with ease. And as a result its hard to say what he believes and why in any simple way, and highlights how articulate (ar-tic-u-late) people who get drawn into the discussions of our day have to be. Because, I honestly see him representing the intellectual and spiritual disquietude and yearning of a lot of people of my generation, and where I agree, I agree, and where I disagree, I have to be able to comprehensively express why.

There are a number of reasons why I write that, but I wont go into them now. I am sure life will provide more avenues for thoughts here.

P.R.F. and then some

2009-01-28T14:59:00.000-08:00

Figure 2: David Victorious

The sketch didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to but it does convey the sense of PRF that I thought was missing from many artistic depictions of the defeat and beheading of Goliath.

BTW P.R.F. = PURE ROCK FURY

I like to use it, its a less profane way of saying BAMF in my eyes. If you don't know BAMF means, its the intuitive stone's throw from just calling someone a bad ass.

In any case, the sketch was not only inspired by his royal badness but also some figures from the Korean manga Veritas. In fact, I was really struck by this prose and liked it so much that I pretty much drew what I saw and changed the hair and the clothes to suit David.

I realize that in the scheme of things I am not gonna get much done (you can see how the sketch gets less detailed towards the bottom, that is a conveyance of my patience with drawing things these days).

However, the other purpose of this blog was to also try my hand at writing more, so expect some poems and prose alongside my bible-based grotesques :}

But, I am planning on drawing what I write, so perhaps poems will be accompanied by some illustrations and these figures will give way to short passages. Who knows? But thanks for looking.

Oh yeah, if anyone out there is interested in coloring this, you have my permission. Just export it in a GIF or JPEG and let me see what you do with it. Cheers!

To the better maker...

2009-01-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

I used to not like Michelangelo's David.

Technically, I could appreciate that it is a masterpiece, that it is a "cannon" so to speak of the male, let alone human form.

The contraposto, the detail, the realism, the everything about is is about as flawless as you can get. Except for the Pieta, now that is as close to a living breathing piece of marble as you can get.

However, back to David, I didn't use to like it because I thought that it wasn't masculine enough. King David, whether as a shepherd boy, a wandering mercenary, or It lacked the gristle, blood and drama of the beheading of Goliath.

However, and I think I've held that opinion for the past decade, last week I up and sketched this, inspired by Michelangelo's David. I am still not sure why this came out, I usually start with a motion in mind and then the rest follows (as you can see by the circles). I couldn't finish the sketchy because I didn't know what I wanted him to hold, do or become. However, without a weapon, or any acoutrements of manhood, there he is, ready to face what is to come. (I think I originally wanted him to be facing down on Goliath about to behead him). All that to say I think I rather like Michelangelo's David now, because I can tie a reason to it. With the weight of kingship upon him, he is gazing confidently into the future because he knows that God has brough him thus far, and will bring him.

In the future I dont think any sketches that I post here will be accompanied with essays, sometimes its just easier to know why you did something when you talk, or type through it. More to come!

This is pretty Cool

2009-01-23T21:08:00.000-08:00

I am a huge fan of stop motion music videos...

Bubblicious from Rex The Dog on Vimeo.

Rock The Casbah...in Kabul

2009-01-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

Check out this video, care of Getreligion and Global Post:

Visit the site, its a pretty interesting collection of human interest and issues stories all over the globe.

The Closing of the American Mind

2009-01-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, on my google page I've written skimming book review of The Closing of the American Mind by Allan Bloom.
It has been a good read so far. The focus of the book is Bloom's critique of the American education system and its affect on this nation's identity, purpose, and ability to reason and truly understand the values that this nation was founded upon. You can read my review here.

Here is one of my favorite excerpts from the book so far, made so because I've been in the exact situation he describes:

The students, of course, cannot defend their opinion. It is something with which they have been indoctrinated. the best they can do is point out all the opinions and cultures there are and have been. What right, they ask, do I or anyone else have to say one is better than the others?

If I pose the routine questions designed to confute them and make them think, such as, "If you had been a British administrator in India, would you have let the natives under your governance burn the widow at the funeral of a man who died?," they either remain silent or reply that the British should never have been there in the first place. It is not that they know much about other nations, or about their own. The purpose of their education is not to make them scholars but to provide them with a moral virtue - openness.

Bloom pg. 26

Seriously, that sums up a lot of arguments and discussion that I've had in college with eerie preciseness. I've been through conversations that praised the Aztec culture for the astronomical and chronological innovations and sexual appetite yet condemned their "apparent homophobia," and gave a pass on their passion for human sacrifice when students challenged it as a negative aspect of their culture. Anyhow, the book is more complex and worth a look.

Opening Moves

2009-01-16T11:14:00.001-08:00

Ahoy everyone. Welcome to my blog/site for the time being. I envision this being a repository for random work, sketches, thoughts and even essays so thanks for visiting and stay keen.